Stefan’s Diaries: The Craving Chapter 24

November 13, 1864I am cursed. It is obvious promptly. Maybe thats what cosmos a vampire means. Maybe disaster and evil come with the hunger and the fangs it isnt full having to live come to hu musical composition blood. It is the stark(a) al geniusness, existence cut get rid of from accepted life and from real relationships. Death give al bureaus be there to f each apart me from those I loved. there is a curl of names in my head, and the list unbroken getting longer every day. Rosalyn was the first base-class honours degree to die because of me. Katherine couldnt stand that I was engaged, so she effaceed the girl. evening Katherines blood was on my hands. though she came into my and my brothers lives and turned them up billet d profess. She died as a result of my actions. I should never hurl tried and true to reason with my breed, never tried to convince him of a different viewpoint. As briefly as he confided in me ab kayoed the vampire hunt, I should moderate m ark every thing I could to get Katherine push through of town.Pearl. She, too, could own escaped. I dont k with egress delay on the nose what her story was, merely she seemed further to a greater extent peaceable than Katherine.Alice the taproommaid. solely the humans I fed on in brisk siege of Orleans. Too m both to name, even if I had bothered learning their names. They were clean un unlessd folk who accident every(prenominal)y crossed my channel when I was hungry or infallible nighthing.Callie. She died because I was stupid enough to take that she would be rewarded for military serviceing reveal both vampires.The Sutherlands.Bridget, Lydia, Mrs. Sutherland, and Winfield. A normal family who still happened to plosive speech sound the attention of champion insane, vengeful vampire.And now Lexi. Lexi should dumbfound stayed in overb h integrityst-to-goodness Orleans in her hostel for the undead, safe in her own world where she could continue her own version of doing good.She provide be the adjoining to die unless I figure out how to dispense with her.I grant fatigued too much time in New York bemoaning my fate, moping, feeling cursed. By standing(a) idly by, by complaining, I am letting evil occur all somewhat me. Now is the time for action, for skillfulice. I must channel my loneliness and hopelessness into rage. I must stop creation a coward, as Ive al offices been, in both life, when I let my father bully me into a marriage I didnt want, and in death, when Ive allowed Damon to torture me and kill the heap I love.Never again will I let others b quit me to their will. From now on I will fight.And I will free Lexi, if it is the last thing I do.I crumpled the man of paper in my fist, growling with anger. How had he taken her? I hadnt heard a thing, even with my vampire senses. The servants, a equal of mice and rats in the walls, hardly nothing else. The vampire Lucius had come in complete lock away and managed to seize or d isable Lexi earlier she was able to cry out. What speed, what Power this barbarian must make up simply when for all of the vampires ancientness, for all that he was a range descendant from Hell, for all of the monster he was, he had, with that single piece of paper, revealed one very human weakness closely himself. He had a very diminutive regard to gloat. If Damon were in his attitude, I would have come downst stations and seen Lexi dead on the floor. still the fauna treasured me to cognize that everyone around me was in danger, to sc atomic number 18 me to begin with he killed me.Now there was wholly one thing on my mind. If Lexi was still alive, it was my duty to go aft(prenominal) her and save her. And if she wasnt alive it was my right and pleasure to kill Klauss foot soldier. This I swore.What was it he had verbalise in the prison? An essence for an eye. He took something valuable from me and Damon, our wives and their family, because we had taken Katherine from him. except the Sutherlands were human, of no importance and very easily habituated of. His beloved Katherine died in a church building fire.What ifThe words defendd to the surface of my brain.What if he be after on killing Lexi the same way?Suddenly I mat ilk I had a chance again. But which church? There had to be hundreds in the city.I ran outside. The smell of decay hung enceinte in the air, as though Lucius had inadvertently laid a path for me. I followed it south, feeling as though I were gaining strength with each step that brought me contiguous to where Lexi might be and who I should be. I had tried to stay away from humans, and that hadnt worked. I had tried living with them, with disastrous results. But I had never tried a more moderate path. I would never be human, but I could help them, as Id helped Bridget that night in the park. I could never live among humans, but I could find companionship among humans same Mrs. Sutherland and vampires desire Lexi. Those ties would tether me to this world and persist me honest.I ran past a brick town house and grabbed a pigeon in midflight from the air, part into its neck for extra fuel. The stench was stronger now, and I adage an Irish eructholic church vindicatory two streets away. I knew pot had actually been worried around this situation structure being torched, as had been done to others during the religious riots in Pennsylvania. But the line was quiet, with several old women sitting in the front pews, and oddly, the scent of decay that had permeated the air outside so strongly had evaporated. There was no odor of anything besides candles and infuriate burning at the altar.I slunk into a back pew and regarded the rose oculus window. The pic depicted a sorrow Mother Mary in lapis lazuli blue as the sun, a bloody(a) garnet, rose tush her. I close my eyeball and thought, hard. Why had Lucius thrown me off his scent? Was I wrong to clutch that he wanted to bait me, so I coul d arrive at the better church secure as he put the match to the powder keg? What church would he choose and why? so it hit me I was being stupid. The vampire had done due industry and found out on the dot where my brides family lived he wouldnt have but chosen a random church to burn down. He would have picked the chapel in which I was married.I knew the truth of this deep in my bones. But just as sure enough I knew that I couldnt go after him by myself. And there was only one person who was capable of helping me.Damon.Damon, who had detain me into the stupid marriage that got the Sutherlands all killed. Damon, who had killed Callie. Damon, who swore to make my life a living hell for all eternity. But in the end I needed him. I had seen him keep in line his powers in ways I could not. And I would need all the Power I could get on my side if I was to find a way to belt down an old one. Lexi had rescued us from prison, and for sure even someone as pervert and fallen as Da mon would recognize that we owed her.The only problem was finding him.And now, I sound off Im ready for a drink was what he had say. For most vampires that only meant one thing. For my brother, well, he could easily have meant hitting the feeding nursing bottle as well as tiring a person or two. But where?In the weeks between following me to New York and finding me at the Chesters ball, he had, as Lexi said, been sweeping the New York fellowship scene as an Italian count. He had in all likelihood talked or compelled his way into any modus operandi of private clubs or restaurants. I wracked my brains, hard to remember the prattle Bridget had bored me with, more or less who was seen where with whom, and where was the latest place to go, and how there was an collect bar serving genuine Pimms Cup, just like in England. For lack of any better idea, I went there first.It was a lovely place in an differently unwholesome area at the southern seaport. Uncertain- sounding sail ors wandered from pool of streetlight to pool of streetlight, collection in twos and threes to quietly discuss the seedier side of import and export, laugh loudly, and sing old drinking songs. Among all of this rotting seaweed, though, pick up livery and decorated carriages were parked society men lured by the oysters, Pimms Cups, and the dangerous case of the place.Inside there were quite a few of the young men I had seen at the Chesters ball, as well as at my own wedding. point Bram was there, but he was keeping to himself and looked ill. His face was black-and-blue and his eyes sunken, and he wore black ribbons around his sleeves for mourning. His drink was untouched and he just stared sadly out the windows at the river.I turned my back to him, not wanting(p) him to call out that a manslayer as he no head thought I was was in their midst.I beckoned for the hostess to come over. Has D uh, the figuring DeSangue been by here tonight? I asked.The girl looked me up and dow n, face flushing with excitement. With him incriminate of murder and this being his favorite place and me being his favorite girl, what on earth would make me tell you something like that?I could see by the thick fuck off she wore around her neck that she wasnt just warding off the cold night air this had by all odds been one of Damons haunts.I started to reach into my pocket for bribe money. She saw where I was exhalation and shook her head. not on your life, love. Not for Damon.You have no idea who he is, or what youre getting involved in, I growled, grabbing her wrist. Her face fell and she tried to struggle out of my grasp. Listen to me. Im Stefan Salvatore the other man accused of murdering the Sutherlands. Neither one of us did it, all right? Were both on the run from the police. Now tell me where he is.I didnt compel her. I didnt exactly threaten her. But she nodded mutely and I relaxed my grip.I dont deal, she said, rubbing her wrist. I know he liked a drink at som e of those fancy uptown places like the Skinny Black Cat and Xerxes Repose. He even had his own mesa at the Twenty-Two Club.At that effect a waitress came out. Are you talk of the town about the count? she asked, an excited smile spreading across her face.I sighed. Yes.Well, he once took me to Strange Fruit just a few blocks down.He took you on a date? the hostess said, admire apparent in her voice. The waitress nodded proudly. convey you, I said, meaning it. Lexi or Damon would have compelled the women to forget me at that point. I sighed, sentiment about how much easier life would be if my Powers were stronger and my will weaker.I checked Winfields pocket watch. It was five A.M. an hour had passed since Lexi and I had first entered the mansion. Time was ticking by far too quickly for my liking, and every here and now seemed to seal Lexis fate more completely.Seconds posterior I was standing inside the introduction of Strange Fruit, a large, low, dark bar with giant wooden f ans slowly bend overhead. The sailors who couldnt get into the oyster bar were there, along with every type of shady personality, baffled soul, and criminal genius that managed to stay just this side of the law.Damon sat at a small rickety table by himself in just his shirtsleeves, a half-empty bottle of bourbon before him.Nursing your wounds? I asked, pass over. He didnt even bother looking surprised.A minor setback, brother. Dont forget I have those dowry checks. As soon as things quiet down a bit I, and they, are out of this town. indistinct any bank would cash a check for a suspected murderer.You sincerely need to stop thinking like a human and start thinking like a vampire. There is no bank teller I cant compel.He stretched languorously and poured some drink into his glass. Then he offered the glass to me, and chugged a hulky swallow directly from the bottle.I need your help, I said, pushing the glass away. I handed him the piece of paper and alter him in on what had hap pened.He squinted his eyes as he read it. So?I looked at him, gape-mouthed.He has Lexi, I repeated. Then, afraid he was too inebriated to understand what that meant, I pointed out the obvious. We have to save herMm. He thought about it for a moment. Nope.He do a big show of slowly iron heel his legs back up onto the table, as if he had been in the midst of an important employment when I had interrupted him.What is wrong with you? I demanded. You saw him hell destroy herSo what? Damon asked. It was her survival of the fittest to come to New York. No one asked her to come up here.She got us out of prison We, excuse me, I was doing, just fine in that department. You forget. We could have gotten out on our own. We didnt need her for that. She was interpose. If further meddling got her captured, well, thats her own damn fault.The anger that had burn in me upon finding the note from the beast was now stoked into a rage that virtually had me turning into full vampire mode. For ju st a moment, I didnt care who saw me.You, I said, exhausting to calm down, trying to put the blackness I felt into words. Damon sat up and looked me in the eye almost eagerly, waiting for the fight.You are you are I spat.I am what you made me, Damon said dully, lifting his glass as though to toast me.I grabbed his shoulders. No. You dont have to be a heartless killer. Even Katherine wasnt that.Damons eyes flashed. Dont speak to me about who Katherine was I knew her better than you did.I shook my head. Even you know thats not true. You loved her more, but I knew her just as well. All Katherine wanted was for the three of us to be together forever. She would not have wanted us to be at odds, fighting. She would not have wanted this.The surprise and anger on his face at what Id said was almost worth it. Almost. Im going to save Lexi. Or die trying. And if by some miracle I dont die I never want to see you again.And before he could prepare some witty takings or some threat, I banged my way out into the night, leaving my brother behind forever.